Hi, My Name Is....
On July 16th, I received a phone call that would change the rest of my life.
“Ms. Fenelon, you have Cancer”…
Everything at that point just…I just don’t know how to explain it, but it just fell apart. That was the absolutely the last thing I ever expected to hear.
I've always been relatively healthy and never had any medical issues or have my body ever shut down on me to ever make me think or indicate that there was anything physically wrong with me so you can imagine all the emotions that could be conjured up all at that moment. I was just confused and angry and sad...many things but the one thing that honestly kept me sane and strong was my trust in God.
In the beginning, it was really, really tough for me especially since my family was out of the country when I found out the news. I was and am forever grateful and fortunate to have my sister, Suzie (who was the only sibling who knew at the time) and a selected few friends to talk to, cry with and vent to while I was going through all of this but i must say that despite all of the doctor appointments after doctor appointments, tests after tests, my spirit was never broken. The moment I heard about my "condition", with tears in my eyes, I declared that I wasn't going anywhere (it was more so “I ain’t going the f**k no where”…but you get the idea) and that I will survive this and I will have the VICTORY at the very end of this. After I made my declaration and laid it at the altar, I knew I was good and that I was taken care of.
Instead of me focusing on this illness, I have been focusing on being better and also working on my purpose in life and what God has placed me here to do for His glory. For me, life didn't end...I didn't mope around wondering "why" or feel sorry for myself. Life just kept going but now with a different perspective and outlook on life. A life full of purpose and the journey to me fulfilling that purpose. It is truly at this time that my relationship with God/Christ is tested. As I am in this valley, I will give Him praise and give Him thanks. It’s so easy to give God thanks and praise when you are at your highest but it’s another thing when you’re able to reverence Him and Thank HIM and give glory at your lowest.
My relationship with my God has strengthened and Fena, has an individual has become stronger. The season that I am standing in is the season gratefulness, the season of victory, the season of restoration, the season of miracles and the season of healing. My diagnosis didn't change a thing about me. I'm still goofy, still flexin', still smiling, still laughing, still boujie, twerking, still got a dirty,freaky mind HAHA... Nothing out of the ordinary.
As of September 19, after all the visits, testing, stress and surgery, I stand here CANCER FREE, by the grace of God. God had His hand on me from jump and all glory to Him. For me to have Stage 1 Colorectal Cancer and not have to undergo chemo or radiation after being told that i would need to undergo chemo and radiology is all Him. Being told that I would have to have my entire colon taken out but not have it all removed, ALLLL Him. *insert shout here* lol
But let me get back to the subject/title "Hi, My Name Is..."
After all that has been going on with me and the effect and impact that "it" has had in the lives of my family and friends, my mother has decided to change my name from "Fena" to now "VICTORY". It's so cute to hear her say it in her lil' Haitian slash Bostonian accent. Haha. Anyways, Cancer and all other Diseases are not of God. The enemy evidently is at work and he rejoices when things like this happen to us where it confuses us, makes us doubt the presence of God, cause us to have depression, think we're worthless but remember this that before the foundations the world, we were already conquerors... Bump that... WE AREEEEEE MOREEEEE THAN CONQUERORS . We already have Victory in Christ Jesus. 1 Corinthians 15:57 says that "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." Laying all your LIFE in the hands of our Savior and remaining faithful and putting all your trust in Him is a guaranteed win WIN. Rebuke everything that is NOT OF GOD. Satan has no room in your life, evict him before he gets comfortable.... Anyways, your name can be "VICTORY"... Just CLAIM IT.